...in my life, not my body shape!
It's cold. Freezing actually. Seems to always be the case at the hospital. I look out the window to my left to a sight of snow falling. Shoot, I was really hoping it was getting closer to spring and warmer weather. At least we have covered parking here.
The baby in the room behind me has started crying again. Can't help but think of how for lots of working moms work is a break from the crazy of life with kids. As I get a wiff of myself... baby spit up, poop, throw up, formula... I laugh at the irony of that.
Time. Some of my patients only have a short amount of it. Usually I like to work on the unit I am on as most of my patients get better and go home. On occasion however there are a few who are just living on borrowed time. My heart is not strong enough to contimplate the reality of that for long. Kids should not die. They just shouldn't. My mind tells me there is a greater plan that takes care of things like this. My heart hurts.
Speaking of hurt, I shift on my sore bottom. I've been riding on the spin bike to prepare for my triathlon. I really hate that bike. People tell me I will get used to it. They say to get some biking shorts. Turns out they are not cheap shorts. Gotten so bad I have thought maybe the idea of putting maxi pads into the shorts I own is not such a terrible idea after all. This used to be a joke.
Why does everything have to cost money? KC heard back about the job he had the second interview for. More bad news. The kind side of me feels for KC. He is such a hard worker and has so much to offer. The selfish side feels for me. Visions of turning in my 2 weeks notice had been dancing in my head.
Stake conference is tomorrow... the adult session anyway. My nice brother is coming to our house to watch the kids while we attend. The priesthood sessions start at 3:30 p.m. That means our Saturday is pretty much gone. Hopefully I can get a some good laps in at the pool after my nap before he has to go.
Drowning. Swimming is hard stuff. Life is harder. KC being at work all day then at school all night, not returning home til after 10 is really starting to wear on me. You would think that after years of this being our schedule I would be used to it. I guess the adding of children makes it a bit more exhausting. Piles of laundry, dishes, toys, unfinished projects, and lack of sleep are slowly taking over my days and I often feel like I am drowning in them. Pushing with all my might trying to get to the top. It's in sight, yet often just out of reach.
4 a.m. Only 2 hours to go. Hope the kids haven't been up all night. When I called at 10 p.m. the hubby was interupted by a little boy who was informing him that his blankets fell off. We have really got to teach that kid to put his own blankets back on him. I'm sure then it would be something else.
Man this hospital is freezing!
This blog is awesome. I have to tell you that I totally feel your pain. Sean also works full time and goes to school full time. For the first 3 years of our marriage i would be lucky to see him an hour out of the whole day. And now with a baby, it's even harder. Most days we just go through the motions because that's what is easiest. But other days it is so hard and I can't wait for school to be over. You truly are super mom in my book. I always love to hear your humor in all that life throws your way. Keep on keeping on. You are so awesome and amazing!
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