... though a little sleep once in a while doesn't hurt either!
Sickness has been abundant in the Madill household the past several weeks. We have each been taking turns passing it around and around. I was beyond excited for a weekend of getting a little sleep to catch up for my lack of sleep due to helping the babes during the nights of throwing up or crying from upset tummy's. However reality is much different from the fantasy's I often dream of and the hubby caught the sickness this weekend. While he spent the weekend sleeping off his illness I spent it getting less sleep than even before.
Have you ever experienced that exhaustion where you can literally feel your body shutting down from the inside out? Even eating was hard due to the fact that my body didn't seem to want to use any energy it didn't absolutely have to.
Tired is not my best personality. Coupled with hunger it's even worse! I have been short of temper and quick to snap at my children. Poor kids of mine!
I read an article this week in short explaining the less than glorifying parts of motherhood. Someday's I focus more than I should on those difficult parts. I get frustrated with my lack of sleep. I long for a trip to the bathroom without a kid breaking in or at least trying to break in. Some days I would possibly do most anything to get a whole nights sleep uninterrupted. I miss those days when I got to eat my food when it was still hot, when I could just 'run' into a store to grab some milk, when 'get your finger out of your nose' was not a part of my daily vocabulary.
In short, I get selfish.
While I can get snippy and grumpy on those days of sheer selfishness I still do my best to try to follow the rule of saying at least 10 positive things for every 1 negative thing I say to those kids of mine. I want my kids to know that I think highly of them, that I love them. Trying to keep to the 10 to 1 rule is one of the ways I try to help them know of that love. I believe that when you are doing everything else wrong, if you love your kids, that's really the most important thing. I believe at the end of the day if I have done nothing else but make those kids feel of my love, it's been an ok day.
So though I am exhausted and grumpy I am going to go kiss my kids goodnight, tell them I love them, and tuck them into bed.
(And in 4 hours when they wake up screaming and yelling or wandering into my bedroom I will do my best to say nothing... cause in the middle of the night, saying nothing is just about as positive as I get!)
